I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize