I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
