I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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