it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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