What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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