Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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