sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
