my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Randomize
