my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
