She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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