Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
