how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
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She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
After tacos, we're chasing women.
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I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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