I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
