would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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