Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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