I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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