So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
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