Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
