it's too hot outside to masturbate.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
