Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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