i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
