Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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