I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
