lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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