ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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