brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
How naked do you want me to be?
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