You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize