i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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