More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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