Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
