I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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