i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've created a new STD.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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