I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
