Texts From Last Night

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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.

  (1-857): View more from Massachusetts

  Doors?

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.

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  (857): I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now. (1-857): Doors? (857): Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet. http://tfl.nu/ic4r
  Replies (6) Good night (2426) Bad night (982)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  oh yeah... my b.

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  (248): i need a penis for penetration, you wont do. (1-248): oh yeah... my b. http://tfl.nu/ib6g
  Replies (1) Good night (901) Bad night (1244)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?

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  (321): My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money? http://tfl.nu/139x
  Replies (10) Good night (622) Bad night (1186)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.

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  (703): No more parties with babies... I can't do that again. http://tfl.nu/7ry4
  Replies (10) Good night (818) Bad night (2933)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?

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  (214): Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us? http://tfl.nu/e7z7
  Replies (13) Good night (5307) Bad night (1554)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke

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  (586): from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke http://tfl.nu/jxf3
  Replies (4) Good night (2442) Bad night (1265)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  $5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer

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  (205): $5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer http://tfl.nu/vhus
  Replies (9) Good night (2710) Bad night (1384)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.

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  (614): You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song. http://tfl.nu/edyj
  Replies (10) Good night (1632) Bad night (666)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution

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  (713): It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution http://tfl.nu/g3ws
  Replies (9) Good night (958) Bad night (849)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...

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  (515): Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis? (515): Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you... http://tfl.nu/0yf4
  Replies (4) Good night (829) Bad night (461)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.

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  (678): She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing. http://tfl.nu/lgbm
  Replies (4) Good night (1354) Bad night (485)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night

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  (936): I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night http://tfl.nu/dhdy
  Replies (4) Good night (467) Bad night (1220)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition

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  (631): You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition http://tfl.nu/5r22
  Replies (2) Good night (523) Bad night (427)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  You mean maximum 5?

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  (306): I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself (1-306): You mean maximum 5? http://tfl.nu/1ybr
  Replies (5) Good night (1104) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her

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  (+44): She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her http://tfl.nu/9grf
  Replies (0) Good night (480) Bad night (185)

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