Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.

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(301): Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/igis

Replies (6) Good night (1423) Bad night (485)
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(206): View more from Washington

My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ

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(206): My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ http://tfl.nu/st4o

Replies (23) Good night (963) Bad night (1647)
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(248): View more from Michigan

the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.

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(248): the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it. http://tfl.nu/bv5q

Replies (15) Good night (2808) Bad night (896)
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(305): View more from Florida

The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever

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(305): The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever http://tfl.nu/qxjf

Replies (17) Good night (4245) Bad night (1401)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?

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(601): How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to? http://tfl.nu/gwpj

Replies (7) Good night (2173) Bad night (838)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.

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(615): The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment. http://tfl.nu/6ofo

Replies (7) Good night (2079) Bad night (852)
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(315): View more from New York

i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV

(802): View more from Vermont

you're the only one i would trust to do that

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(315): i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV (802): you're the only one i would trust to do that http://tfl.nu/yrsp

Replies (8) Good night (2561) Bad night (838)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY

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(919): Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY http://tfl.nu/1b9m

Replies (26) Good night (3117) Bad night (1264)
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(770): View more from Georgia

All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.

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(770): All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life. http://tfl.nu/y2ti

Replies (4) Good night (885) Bad night (519)
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(516): View more from New York

Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame

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(516): Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame http://tfl.nu/dqi5

Replies (2) Good night (1729) Bad night (467)
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(407): View more from Florida

I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.

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(407): I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'. http://tfl.nu/3npe

Replies (2) Good night (1417) Bad night (736)
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(716): View more from New York

I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat

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(716): I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat http://tfl.nu/8oko

Replies (2) Good night (1046) Bad night (277)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?

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(612): did you just take a shot to penises and friendship? http://tfl.nu/wdge

Replies (2) Good night (611) Bad night (203)
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(734): View more from Michigan

I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?

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(734): I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening? http://tfl.nu/odfb

Replies (8) Good night (420) Bad night (852)
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(858): View more from California

Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?

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(858): Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we? http://tfl.nu/fuxn

Replies (1) Good night (463) Bad night (208)

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