Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing