Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Got a toothbrush?

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  (734): Got a toothbrush? http://tfl.nu/c7ae
  Replies (7) Good night (2247) Bad night (1141)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i'm going to rape that little man

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  omg not your brother

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  (414): i'm going to rape that little man (414): omg not your brother http://tfl.nu/01hx
  Replies (3) Good night (1006) Bad night (1452)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"

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  (704): Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?" http://tfl.nu/740o
  Replies (9) Good night (2099) Bad night (759)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me

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  (773): i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me http://tfl.nu/svmp
  Replies (37) Good night (878) Bad night (3121)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.

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  (757): It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends. http://tfl.nu/y207
  Replies (21) Good night (1072) Bad night (6044)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...

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  (913): It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason... http://tfl.nu/n9s7
  Replies (17) Good night (5357) Bad night (2064)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.

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  (616): Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson. http://tfl.nu/7vwr
  Replies (16) Good night (1169) Bad night (4647)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.

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  (352): I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern. http://tfl.nu/54kf
  Replies (16) Good night (4013) Bad night (1053)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station

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  (303): Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station http://tfl.nu/qhlw
  Replies (6) Good night (974) Bad night (1750)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose

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  (303): I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive (1-303): Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose http://tfl.nu/eyzf
  Replies (6) Good night (976) Bad night (651)
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  (831): View more from California

  Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out

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  (831): Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out http://tfl.nu/e8gp
  Replies (1) Good night (751) Bad night (511)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns

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  (614): he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns http://tfl.nu/45lv
  Replies (10) Good night (1715) Bad night (598)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.

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  (570): Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it. http://tfl.nu/2piy
  Replies (5) Good night (602) Bad night (400)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good

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  (519): He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good http://tfl.nu/g2kf
  Replies (3) Good night (1221) Bad night (406)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?

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  (918): I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far? http://tfl.nu/cfji
  Replies (0) Good night (526) Bad night (352)

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