im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?