she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
