I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
