I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
