why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
