I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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