they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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