So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
