office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Randomize
