I don't think brook has ever known best
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
