whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
