it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
