I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
