check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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