ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
