i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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