I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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