Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
