haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My Higher Power is John Stamos
and you said cock pushups were impossible
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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