I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Randomize