and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
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