I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
420 ftw
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize