we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
