I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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