We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat