So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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