oh god the rape fog is back!
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
