My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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