I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
