I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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