toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
